INEC has granted political parties extra time to upload candidates, after several aspirants reportedly discovered deadlines are not mere campaign suggestions. Nigerians, meanwhile, were reminded that democracy is a group assignment where only voters do their part on time.
Just when Nigerians thought political parties had spent the last three years preparing for the 2027 elections, it turns out many of them were still asking the electoral equivalent of, "Please, sir, can we submit on Monday?"
The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), in what can only be described as the country's most expensive extension request, granted political parties extra time to upload their candidates after several apparently discovered that deadlines are, in fact, real.
For ordinary Nigerians, missing a deadline means missing a job, an exam, or your landlord's patience. For politicians, however, it simply unlocks a fresh round of negotiations, emergency meetings, and statements beginning with, "After extensive consultations..."
Political observers say the delay wasn't caused by technology but by the ancient Nigerian tradition of everyone wanting to be the candidate while simultaneously insisting they're only interested in "serving the people."
Party offices across the country reportedly transformed into family meetings where everyone agreed on one thing: someone else should step down.
Meanwhile, supporters have resumed their seasonal hobby of declaring every aspirant "the people's choice," despite the people still trying to figure out why fuel, food and electricity keep behaving like luxury goods.
Political strategists insist this election will be different because this year's campaign promises are expected to come with improved graphics, drone shots, and inspirational piano music.
Analysts also predict a nationwide shortage of white native attire, branded face caps, and the phrase "Nigeria is at a crossroads," which has now appeared in so many speeches that Google reportedly classifies it as a weather forecast.
As parties race to beat the new deadline, Nigerians have once again been reminded that elections don't really begin when campaigns start. They begin the moment politicians suddenly remember that the masses are "the true heroes of democracy."
Until after the election, of course, when those heroes will be politely asked to wait another four years for the sequel.
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