INEC unveils new election logistics plan: voters will be teleported to their polling units
Commission insists the technology is 'mostly tested' and any disappearances will be 'investigated thoroughly after the results are announced'.
ABUJA — The Independent National Electoral Commission has unveiled what it calls a 'revolutionary' approach to the persistent voter-turnout problem: teleportation.
Under the proposed scheme, every registered voter will be quantum-relocated to their assigned polling unit at exactly 8 a.m. on election day, stay long enough to vote, and be returned to their original location 'somewhere between 11 and unspecified'.
What could go wrong?
Asked about the 0.4% expected loss rate, INEC Chairman replied that 'all stakeholders have been consulted, including the Ministry of Health'.
Civil society groups have welcomed the plan, with one activist noting: 'For the first time, my vote will count — assuming I land in the right state.'
Keep reading
More like this
- Politics
Senator Denies Owning Mansion He Was Waving From
A Nigerian senator has denied owning a six-bedroom mansion — while addressing reporters from the upstairs balcony of the same property. He says the gold initials, marble pillars and fountain shaped like his head are just “coincidences God will judge.”
Nyesom Dwala
Reader takes
0 comments
