Joeboy Wants to Hide His Marriage Until Three Children Arrive, Because Nigerian Social Media Has No Privacy

Joeboy has apparently looked at the Nigerian entertainment industry, looked at celebrity relationships being investigated by strangers on Instagram, and decided that if he ever gets married, the public will receive the information when he is good and ready.

The singer recently revealed that he likes the idea of marrying early and having teenage children by the time he turns 40. But here is the interesting part: if he gets married now, he says nobody will know. In fact, the public may only discover the marriage after he has had about three children.

And honestly, this may be the most Nigerian thing an entertainer has said all week.

Because celebrity marriage in Nigeria is no longer just a marriage. It is a public-private partnership involving Instagram detectives, blogs, fans, aunties, photographers, former classmates and that one person who somehow knows the bride's cousin's neighbour.

You cannot simply marry in peace anymore. The moment a celebrity posts a picture wearing a ring, somebody zooms in. Somebody checks the reflection in the sunglasses. Somebody identifies the hotel. Another person discovers that the woman standing three people behind them at an event has been liking every post since 2024.

Before you know it, congratulations are already flying.

Joeboy, who is 29, explained during an interview with British media personality Madame Joyce that his interest in early marriage was partly influenced by actor Timini Egbuson, who previously said he wished he had married earlier. Joeboy said the idea of being 40 with a 16-year-old child appeals to him, but stressed that marriage should ultimately be about genuinely loving the person and feeling ready.

The irony is that Joeboy has already been practising this privacy thing. In a 2022 interview, he revealed that he was in a relationship but deliberately kept the identity of his partner away from social media because, as he put it, social media is wild.

And he is absolutely correct.

These days, celebrities don't need wedding photographers. The internet is already carrying the camera.

So if Joeboy eventually gets married secretly, has three children and suddenly posts a family Christmas picture, Nigerians should not be surprised.

They will simply zoom into the photo, count the children and ask the most Nigerian question possible:

“But who is the mother?”