Minister of Works promises to fix all roads by simply removing them from Google Maps
'If you can't see the road, you can't complain about it,' the minister explained during a 4-hour press conference held in his Range Rover.
ABUJA — The Minister of Works has unveiled an ambitious 18-month plan to address Nigeria's deteriorating road network: an aggressive programme of cartographic deletion.
Under the plan, badly damaged roads will be quietly removed from Google Maps, Apple Maps and OpenStreetMap, eliminating public knowledge of their existence and, by extension, complaints about their state.
Cost-effective and forward-looking
The minister noted that the scheme is 'budget-neutral' and could be expanded to bridges, hospitals and any other infrastructure 'we'd rather not deal with right now'.
Citizens are advised to memorize their commutes by Friday.
Keep reading
More like this
- Politics
Fubara Declares Peace in Rivers Again, and Rivers People Keep the Popcorn Close
After impeachment drama, emergency rule and enough reconciliation meetings to power an NGO, Rivers has declared peace again. Residents are advised to remain calm, keep receipts, and not finish their popcorn before the next “final episode.”
Nyesom Dwala
Reader takes
0 comments
