Naira hospitalized after another all-night session with the Dollar — doctors say it just needs rest

LAGOS — The Nigerian Naira was admitted to a private clinic in Abuja early Sunday morning after another rough night out with the US Dollar, sources at the Central Bank have confirmed.

The currency reportedly fell off a chart shortly after midnight and was found by traders 'crying softly into a calculator'.

Stable. Allegedly.

CBN officials issued a statement assuring Nigerians that the Naira 'is fundamentally strong and only needs a few weeks of rest, fluids, and possibly a haircut'.

The Dollar declined to comment, telling reporters only: 'I told her she couldn't keep up, but she insisted.'