Peller Announces a Livestream With Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka: “It Will Be a Proper English Day.” My Friend, Please Fasten Your Dictionary

Sit down, because I have news that has made grammar itself nervous.

Peller, the streamer, said during a livestream on Tuesday that he wants to do a stream with Professor Wole Soyinka. Yes. The Nobel Prize winner. The man whose sentences have sentences. Peller said he will announce the plan soon, and then added the line that has sent half of Nigeria into a spiral: “It will be a proper English day. You will hear some grammar that day.”

Grammar! Peller, the same man whose streams are full of dancing, shouting, random guests and the energy of a wedding hall at 11 p.m., is now promising “a proper English day”. My friend, the English language, has heard this announcement and is rehearsing.

Let us imagine how it will go. Peller opens the stream. The chat is already moving at the speed of light: “FIRST!” “Who is here?” “Send your account number!” And then, in the middle of all this, a very calm man in a very calm voice says, “Good evening.” Immediately, fifty thousand people forget how to type.

The professor will make one sentence, and it will contain a word that sends the entire audience to their phones. “What is the meaning of that?” “Is that English?” “Abeg, drop the dictionary link.” Somebody in the comments will say, “Prof, I no understand, but I love you.” Another will say, “Peller, translate!” And Peller, with great confidence and a small bit of fear, will say, “Prof is saying he is happy to be here.” Prof is saying nothing of the sort. Prof is saying something about the delicate relationship between power and language, but the translation will do fine.

And the gifts! Nobody knows what the gift section looks like when a Nobel laureate is in the room. Will the audience send gifts in the form of exclamation marks? Will we see “Prof, you are a lion” in capital letters? Will a viewer send a gift and ask the professor to say his name? “Greetings to Emeka from Aba.” The professor will do it, politely, and we will all be moved.

Now, to be fair, the idea is wonderful. It is an invitation of two worlds: the world of the book and the world of the screen. A young audience that might not read a play will listen to a man who has spent his life writing them. If even five people go to buy a book after the stream, that is a victory. Nigerian education will have a good day.

Of course, one small thing remains. As of now, nobody has said whether Professor Soyinka has been contacted, or whether he has accepted. So far, this is Peller saying “I want to,” which, in Nigerian entertainment, is the first step of a great plan, a great delay and a great post that says “Soon.”

But let us wait. If it happens, I will be there, with my notebook and my dictionary. And with a very big bowl of popcorn.