Baba Don Land: Tinubu Just Touched Down and Twitter Is Already in Formation

Okay guys, gather round, because oga has returned. President Tinubu just landed back in Nigeria after what the presidency is calling "an extended working visit to Europe," and what everybody else is calling "vacation with extra steps." Baba was away long enough that some of us forgot the naira exchange rate is technically still his problem too.

Now, before you come for us: yes, presidents travel, yes, diplomacy is real work, yes, somebody has to go shake hands and sign things in front of a flag. Nobody is disputing that. What we're disputing is the vibes. Because every time Baba comes back, the itinerary reads less like "bilateral talks" and more like "check-up, then somehow ended up at three more cities before anybody noticed."

Meanwhile, back home, things were doing their normal Nigerian things. Fuel price did its little dance. NEPA remained NEPA. Someone's cousin's shop generator worked harder than most government agencies combined. And yet, the moment the plane touches down at Aso Rock airstrip, aides will be lined up looking like nothing happened, ready to hand Baba a folder titled "Things You Missed (Abridged)."

The funniest part? By the time you read this, there will already be a press release about "commendable outcomes" from the trip. Somebody will mention "renewed investor confidence." Somebody else will show a photo of Baba shaking hands with someone important-looking, and none of us will know who that man is, but we'll nod anyway, because that's the drill.

And listen, we're not saying the man shouldn't rest. Running Nigeria is not a small task, and everybody deserves health and peace, even presidents. We're just saying: next time, maybe leave a WhatsApp status. "Away till further notice, please don't call unless naira is above 1000." At least then we'd know to manage ourselves accordingly.

Welcome back, Baba. The country kept the lights on. Mostly by generator, but still.