Cement has officially been reclassified as a luxury good, leaving developers to replace project budgets with prayer points and motivational quotes. Nigerians can now admire bags of cement the way they admire imported champagne: from a respectful distance.
In a move economists have described as "simply accepting reality," cement has officially been reclassified as a luxury item in Nigeria, joining imported champagne, designer handbags, and first-class airline tickets on the list of products only admired from a distance.
The announcement has sent shockwaves through the construction industry, with developers reportedly replacing project budgets with prayer points and motivational quotes.
One contractor admitted he now requests clients to pay for cement before discussing floor plans.
"We no longer ask how many bedrooms you want," he explained. "The first question is, 'How many bags can your family emotionally afford?'"
Real estate developers have also introduced innovative housing options, including "imaginary duplexes" and "aspirational foundations," allowing buyers to visualize their dream homes while waiting for cement prices to become compatible with human existence.
Meanwhile, newly married couples have reportedly added bags of cement to their wedding registries, alongside generators and air conditioners.
"We've already received four blenders," one bride said. "What we really need is twenty bags of cement. Love alone cannot cast a foundation."
Building material dealers confirmed that customers now approach cement displays with the same reverence usually reserved for luxury watches, requesting to "just price it" before quietly walking away in reflective silence.
At press time, one Lagos landlord was seen locking his remaining five bags of cement inside a bank vault after neighbours began greeting him with unusual enthusiasm.
Industry analysts predict cement may soon qualify for installment payments, insurance coverage, and armed security escorts during transportation.
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