Senate Orders Investigation Into Why Nigerians Keep Asking Questions

In a landmark move aimed at restoring national peace and reducing unnecessary curiosity, the Senate has ordered an immediate investigation into why Nigerians insist on asking so many questions.

The resolution followed what lawmakers described as an "alarming increase" in citizens asking things like, "Where did the money go?", "Why is this road still under construction?", and the particularly offensive, "Didn't they promise this last year?"

Speaking after the plenary, the chairman of the newly constituted Senate Committee on Persistent Public Curiosity said the trend was becoming a threat to national stability.

"A responsible citizen should occasionally accept 'we are looking into it' as a complete answer," he said. "But some Nigerians keep asking follow-up questions. We find this deeply concerning."

The committee has reportedly begun interviewing citizens who have repeatedly demanded explanations, transparency, and accountability.

One suspect allegedly asked twelve consecutive questions during a town hall meeting before being politely advised to "allow government to work."

Meanwhile, the Senate has unveiled a draft Public Question Regulation Bill that would require Nigerians to obtain a permit before asking more than three questions per month.

Essential questions such as "How are you?" and "Have you eaten?" will remain exempt.

However, questions beginning with "Why," "How come," or "Can someone explain..." may attract administrative processing fees.

Political analysts welcomed the investigation, noting that it demonstrates the government's unwavering commitment to identifying the root cause of public curiosity instead of answering it.

At press time, the committee had adjourned indefinitely after a journalist reportedly asked the chairman one simple question:

"So... when should Nigerians expect the report?"