Nigeria Doesn't Need More Therapists. We Already Have the Comment Section.

For decades, mental health professionals have spent years studying psychology, human behaviour, and emotional wellbeing. It is noble work, but in Nigeria, it is becoming increasingly unnecessary.

We have evolved.

Today, the average Nigerian no longer books therapy sessions. Instead, they simply open Facebook, X or Instagram, type "Please I need advice," and wait approximately forty-five seconds for the country's unofficial panel of psychologists, marriage counsellors, economists, prophets, lawyers and village historians to assemble.

No nation crowdsources emotional healing quite like Nigeria.

A woman recently shared that her husband forgot their wedding anniversary. Before she could finish reading the first ten comments, strangers had already concluded that the marriage was over, her mother-in-law was behind everything, the husband was secretly seeing someone from accounting, and the couple's greatest mistake was getting married in November.

By the twentieth comment, someone had blamed the economy. By the fiftieth, another had linked the matter to the removal of fuel subsidy.

One cannot help but admire such interdisciplinary analysis.

Medical diagnosis has become equally democratic.

Mention that you've had a headache for three days and you'll receive recommendations ranging from malaria medication to garlic, ginger, turmeric, scent leaves, bitter kola and one mysterious herbal mixture prepared only by an elderly man who "doesn't advertise because his medicine speaks for itself."

Should you ignore all that and visit a hospital, someone will immediately comment, "Doctors only treat symptoms. My grandmother cured this with hot pap and prayer."

The confidence is extraordinary.

There is no known field of human knowledge that Nigerians cannot master within the space of a comment thread.

Football? Every supporter becomes a Champions League-winning manager immediately after the final whistle.

Politics? Men whose greatest economic achievement is successfully borrowing ₦2,000 until month-end somehow possess comprehensive solutions to Nigeria's fiscal challenges.

Law? Every court ruling is followed by thousands of constitutional experts who discovered their legal qualifications immediately after pressing "Post."

Perhaps the most fascinating members of this digital academy are those who begin every contribution with impressive introductions.

"As a psychologist..."