The Problem With Being Connected to Everyone but Close to Nobody

My friend, I need to ask you something, and please don’t lie. When did you last call someone with your actual mouth just to say “how far?” without a reason?

Be honest. Your thumb has done more talking this year than your tongue.

Here is the gist. According to DataReportal’s Digital 2026 report for Nigeria, there are about 165 million mobile connections in a country of roughly 239 million people, and 109 million internet users. TikTok alone reaches 47.8 million adults. So on paper, Nigeria has never been more connected. We are linked by phone, by network, by app, by group chat and by that one cousin’s broadcast message.

And yet, how many of those connections would bring you water if you fell sick?

Let us take a tour of the modern friendship, shall we?

First, the WhatsApp group. You belong to about forty. There is the family one, the church one, the estate one, the old school one, the one for a wedding that happened in 2021, and the one where a man you’ve never met shares a “Good morning, God is faithful” picture every day at 5 am. You are connected to everybody. You have spoken to nobody.

Second, the birthday. Facebook reminds you. You type “HBD, many happy returns, God bless you” in four seconds, add three emojis, and feel like you have done a good deed. It is the most efficient friendship in history. No visit. No cake. No trouble.

Third, the “seen” button. Somebody sends you a long message about their problem. You read it, you think, “I will reply when I am free,” and then twelve days later you see the message again, and the guilt arrives like a late bus.

Fourth, the story. Your friend posts a picture of a beautiful dinner, and you react with a fire emoji. You had no idea she was sad, because the picture said she was fine. Nobody posts “I am crying in the bathroom” with a cute filter.

Now let me be fair. I could not find a Nigerian study that proves we are lonelier, so this is just an observation. Connection online is not a bad thing. It helped people find jobs, find love, find a plug for cheap tomatoes. Social media also helps us check on people we would never have reached.

But there is a difference between someone who knows your phone number and someone who knows your fear.

So here is the humble assignment. This week, call one person. Not for business. Not for a favour. Just to hear their voice, and let them hear yours.

Then, if they pick up, say the scariest thing in the world: “I was just thinking about you.”