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10 stories tagged with japa.
After dropping to 181st globally, Nigeria’s green passport has asked citizens to manage their expectations and focus on its strengths: looking official, fitting neatly in visa files, and serving as proof that japa remains more of a prayer point than a travel plan.
Nyesom Dwala
After 111 more Nigerians returned from South Africa, officials hailed the 15th evacuation as proof the system works, mainly the part that brings citizens back to the same problems they originally left behind.
Nyesom Dwala
Kano has hired 2,037 health workers in one day, a bold attempt to replace everyone already comparing NHS salaries on WhatsApp. Officials say the next phase is ensuring hospitals have light, equipment, and staff who have not quietly entered the Canada Express Lane.
Nyesom Dwala
After nearly a decade of “advancing talks,” Nigeria and the EU have reportedly agreed to continue agreeing that an agreement may one day be agreed. Officials say the migration deal will move faster once everyone finds the calendar invite.
Nyesom Dwala
In a historic blow to the political class’s constitutional right to “quickly dash abroad,” Lagos APC has grounded its own candidates until 2027. Party officials insist it is not house arrest, just mobilisation with fewer boarding passes.
Nyesom Dwala
Experts say Lagos traffic has outgrown the five stages of grief, adding Prayer, Generator Fumes and Just Japa for commuters who left “early” in 2019 and are still approaching CMS.
Nyesom Dwala
From immortal potholes to ‘coming soon’ flyovers and uncles permanently japa-ing next year, these Nigerian institutions have shown more continuity than any manifesto. At this point, the pothole deserves a constituency allowance.
Nyesom Dwala
After becoming Nigeria’s unofficial japa helpdesk, ChatGPT has decided to formalise its suffering with a citizenship application, NIN and possibly a voter’s card, provided it can explain why every cousin abroad is broke only on phone calls.
Nyesom Dwala
Officials say the breakthrough will finally replace “only God knows” with a firm nine-month waiting period, giving applicants enough time to learn French, miss their flight, and become different people from their passport photographs.
Reuben Datti
We keep declaring Nigeria the greatest country on earth, then privately asking strangers on LinkedIn if their company is “currently sponsoring skilled workers.” At this point, even patriotism seems to depend on whether the embassy has replied.
Reuben Datti
